[转帖]Control Issues

JOYPEACE

=============== My first MountainWings Moment came when I read "Control." I had been reading MountainWings for a very long time and read other people's revelations, but I never had one of my own until I read this in MountainWings: "He who angers you ...controls you." How profound, and it couldn't have come at a better moment. I've always had a problem with control. Not that I was the controller, it was that I was the one being controlled. First, it was my parents when I was a teenager and as I got older I realized that was normal. They were only looking out for me. Then I was married to a man who was not only controlling, but abusive as well. I was very young when I got married, and had 3 children before the age of 24. My life was one struggle after another. We scraped by on what money was left after the drinking and gambling my ex did every payday. I had a job, and that paid for the food. I got out of that situation and was able to control my own life. I was happy. When I was finally free of him, I was renewed. I had no one to answer to, did my own thing, nobody had any control over me whatsoever! It was wonderful. But eventually I found myself needing to be controlled a little bit. I was getting out of control. How ironic. Then my prayers were answered. I met my present husband who taught me what true love was all about. He keeps me grounded and I love him for that. I think we all need to be controlled to an extent. Although sometimes the control thing can get out of hand, for instance, at my job. The girl who works in the office during the week, (I work only on Saturdays) has a total control issue with me. She insists on picking out petty things that normal people would overlook. Things that the owner of the place tells me not to worry about. But this girl insists on continuing to pick. Every Saturday when I go to work, I can be sure there will be a note which mentions all of the little mistakes I made the previous week. The funny thing is, she makes the same mistakes and sometime worse! Little does she know that the boss tells me these things. Anyway, I went to work and sure enough, there was a note telling me that I am not folding the letters for the envelopes properly, when I am folding them exactly the way she showed me! I was furious! Took me a while to calm down too. Eventually, I went upstairs to my apartment to have lunch and to look at my emails, and lo and behold there was the issue "Control" in my MountainWings! When I read it I felt reborn. How true is that little six word saying, "He who angers you ...controls you." Every time I would read her notes to me I was so angry that I ended up thinking of ways to get back at her by pointing out her mistakes, which didn't work, because she would say that her mistakes don't matter but mine do. Which would anger me even more. But after I read the "Control" issue, I felt differently. It was like someone hit me between the eyes and said, "Wake Up!" No one has that much control over you unless you let them, which is exactly what I was doing! So I went back to work, did my job and left at the end of the day, with no note back to her. Thank you MountainWings for coming into my life everyday and letting me know that there are better things in life than worrying about things that you have no 'control' over. ~A MountainWings Original by Kathleen Starkey, Cranberry Twp, PA~