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Tragic things in my life happened and I turned on God. I was
angry that He would let these things happen to my family and me.
Until about a year ago when I redevoted my life to God, I never
understood why those things happened. My Nanna and Poppa had
devoted their lives to God, a faith I had never seen waiver even
once during a time of crisis. I was in awe of them.
My Poppa was being transported to church one Sunday, about seven
years ago in a wheelchair lift bus. The driver failed to comply
with safety standards by making sure my Poppa was securely
belted in, and as a result, when he ended up in an accident, my
Poppa was thrown from the back of the bus into the front dash.
I was beyond livid when I heard the news. I called my Nanna and
demanded to know what the driver's name was, begging her to press
charges, and sue the company so she and my Poppa wouldn't have
to struggle anymore.
She insisted she wasn't going to do anything about it; she was
too busy tending to my Poppa. So I went behind her back and
called the company screaming like a banshee at the owner for
allowing such a person to work for him.
A couple of years later, I was sitting in the bar drinking my
problems away till the next day, when I heard a guy I knew from
karaoke describing this accident he'd once gotten into at work
where an "old man" was hurt, and the family called his office to
scream at his boss.
I walked over to his table, asked him if he worked at the same
company my Poppa used to take; he nodded. I asked him if he
remembered the guy's name, he said only the last name, and
proceeded to tell me what it was.
I plowed him with my fist as hard as I could and left.
I never spoke of the issue again until about a month ago with my
Nanna. We were discussing God's wrath and how I'd just
recently realized His may not be immediate, but in the end it is
far worse than mine will ever be.
She asked me if I remembered her response to Poppa's accident.
I hung my head in shame and nodded.
She told me that her faith in God's wrath is what stopped her
from doing something. I was stunned like she had just hit me.
"He will be judged," she said, "and I don't want to be a part of
it when he does."
The big revelation.
Allow God to judge, and you will have nothing to repent for.
We make enough mistakes of our own, why add someone else's to
the pile? |
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