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Better get a tissue for this one! It's long but you'll enjoy it.
"Watch out! You nearly broad-sided that car!" My father yelled
at me. "Can't you do anything right?"
Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the
elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him.
A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't
prepared for another battle.
"I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving."
My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I
really felt.
Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back.
At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside
to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with
a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo
my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?
Dad had been a lumberjack (伐木工人)in Washington and Oregon. He had
enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength
against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling
lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in
his house were filled with trophies that attested to his
prowess.
The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't
lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I
saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became
irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or
when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.
Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart
attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic
administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing.
At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room.
He was lucky; he survived.
But something inside Dad died.
His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow
doctors orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned
aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned,
then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
My husband, Rick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our
small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would
help him adjust.
Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation.
It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I
did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-
up anger out on Rick. We began to bicker and argue.
Alarmed, Rick sought out our pastor and explained the situation.
The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us.
At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe
Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent.
A raindrop struck my cheek. I looked up into the gray sky.
Somewhere up there was "God." Although I believe a Supreme Being
had created the universe, I had difficulty believing that God
cared about the tiny human beings on this earth.
I was tired of waiting for a God who did not answer.
Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it. The next
day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental
health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem in vain to each of the sympathetic voices that answered.
Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly
exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me
go get the article."
I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable
study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under
treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had
improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a
dog.
I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled
out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels.
The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the
row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired
dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs - all jumped
up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one
after the other for various reasons, too big, too small, too
much hair.
As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner
struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat
down.
It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this
was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and
muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided
triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my
attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.
I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?" The officer
looked, then shook his head in puzzlement.
"He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of
the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right
down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard
nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly.
As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean
you're going to kill him?"
"Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room
for every unclaimed dog."
I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my
decision.
"I'll take him," I said.
I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I
reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my
prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.
"Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.
Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust.
"If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would
have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones.
Keep it! I don't want it." Dad waved his arm scornfully and
turned back toward the house.
Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles
and pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him,
Dad. He's staying!"
Dad ignored me.
"Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed.
At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his
sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood
glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer
pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat
down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his
paw.
Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw.
Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited
patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.
It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship.
Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne
explored the community. They spent long hours walking down
dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of
streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend
Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne
lying quietly at his feet.
Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three
years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many
friends.
Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose
burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into
our bedroom at night.
I woke Rick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room.
Dad lay in his bed, his face serene; but his spirit had left
quietly sometime during the night.
Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered
Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form
in the rag rug he had slept on. As Rick and I buried him near a
favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help
he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This
day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the
aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see
the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church.
The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and
the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to
Hebrews 13:2. "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers..."
"I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.
For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I
had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read
the right article...
Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. His
calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father...and the
proximity of their deaths.
And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my
prayers after all.
~by Catherine Moore~ |
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